Heteroflexibel?

6000 MEN...

As a masseur of the Slaunge I have, so far, given treatments to ± 6000 men. Before I give the treatment, I sometimes ask about the motivation to want to experience a sensual massage from man to man. Of these 6000 men, I estimate that 70% would describe themselves as heteroflexible or bisexual.

This includes married men with a girlfriend or female partner and single men who usually have sex with women.

Men who, due to their culture or belief system, cannot/may not have sex with women, so return to same-sex encounters to fulfill their sensual/sexual needs.

This 70% seems like a high figure but apparently this is because taking a sensual massage, given by another man, allows these men to discreetly fill in and investigate this private part of themselves that otherwise might be suppressed.

A sensual massage allows a man to be touched by another man. For me, the concern for privacy, discretion, professionalism and natural skill in giving massages are valid.

It also provides a safe space to explore this aspect of their sexuality without influencing their presented public persona.

Heteroflexibility is a form of sexual orientation or situational sexual behavior characterized by minimal homosexual activity in a, otherwise primarily, heterosexual orientation, which may or may not distinguish it from bisexuality.

It is characterized as "mostly straight".

WHAT DOES HETEROFLEXIBLE MEAN?

According to Wikipedia, the term refers to "a person who identifies himself as primarily heterosexual, but who may find the same sex sexually attractive". The term has steadily increased in use over the years. Even in dating apps as a sexual preference.

AND TO BE HETEROFLEXIBLE?

Simply put, a heteroflexible person is someone who is fundamentally straight but occasionally has the need to experience sensual sexual intimacy with someone of the same sex.

They may have gay or lesbian friends, can identify with the gay and lesbian culture, but they publicly consider themselves straight, at least if they are not attracted to someone of the same sex.

BUT WAIT...

Isn't that what bisexual actually means?

Yes and no. Bisexuals are attracted to both sexes. Someone who is heteroflexible can only occasionally feel the need for someone of the same sex.

A man who is predominantly heterosexual has a greater preference for partners of the opposite sex. He may not even respond to his attraction to a partner of the same sex.

It may be a feeling he sometimes experiences without taking that feeling to the next level, and when he takes it to the next level, the experience may not be really sex but just kissing and/or making love.

In short, being heteroflexible is a version or variation of being bisexual.

Of course there is some discussion about the term heteroflexible. Some people think it's a legitimate way to describe themselves, while others fear that people who would otherwise identify themselves as bisexual would instead say that they are heteroflexible because it is less "loaded".

There is no consensus, so for now it is probably best to choose the term you are most familiar with!

MY THEORY OF 'FATHER' INFLUENCES.

For many male clients who identify as heteroflexible or bisexual it is fine, but for a few it is not, it can even be terrifyingly confusing, so I take the time to explain that attracting the same sex is not only about a physical desire for intimacy with another man, but often also a desire for an emotional bond.

Of the ± 6000 men I have massaged, almost all of them, whether gay, bisexual or heterosexual, have one aspect in common and that is that they have had an emotional disconnection with the primary male figure(s) in their childhood.

It seems that if a male child under the age of 11 has a connection with a father figure, this can have a profound effect on his emotional needs in the future. If they had rejection, abandonment or criticism as a child, they even had a fear for the father.

This lack of connection and lack of approval often means that they will look it up with other men later in life.

A man who takes a sensual massage or seeks an intimate sensual touch given by another man seeks not only the sexual fulfillment of excitement and orgasm, but also seeks this emotional fulfillment of male approval.

If a man has not had male approval in childhood, this natural stage in the development of childhood does not disappear.

This person may, during his teenage years, experience an unconscious attraction to a male classmate.

He can worship a certain male celebrity or sports hero.

This feeling will develop and even if he marries, has children and maybe even tries to suppress the feeling, the desire for the missed relationship between man and woman can never disappear.

These men also watch gay or bisexual porn, or suggest to their female partners to explore a threesome together with another man, because even watching another man having sex with their own female partner can often be more about the approval of the other man enjoying the sex more than the pleasure that his female partner may get.

He can even participate to connect with the other man, but within the security of his heterosexual relationship.